Zucchini Misadventures

Like I promised, this is today's real post, with pictures from today. I had intended to write about a book I read today (I read quickly), but my attempt to bake zucchini bread proved too disastrous not to write about.

The first step in turning a green garden monster into a delectable treat is, naturally, to peel the skin from the zucchini. I detest this step the most, as it requires the most hand-to-zucchini contact. Zucchinis, I have discovered, produce a gluey, sticky slime when peeled, which makes it incredibly difficult to hold. This is especially problematic when the zucchini - which is quite fat and heavy - is being held precariously over the garbage so the peels fall directly into the bin. Having learned from last time (wh

en the zucchini was nearly dropped into the garbage), I laid it out on a paper towel (or 9) on the counter and shaved it that way.

The culprit.

Once the gargantuan squash had been peeled, I had to slice it up into itty-bitty pieces to fit it inside the food processor. I did once try to grate it by hand, but when my arm cramped up after shredding a meager 1/4 cup, I changed my method. Putting together the food processor was another adventure in itself - I wrestled with it for a full 10 minutes before conceding defeat and hollering for Dad to come and help.

Quick question: how many cups of shredded zucchini does one 13 inch, 2 pound zucchini produce? 5, I hear you say, or perhaps 6? Ha! Alas, you would be wrong. 8, actually. 8 cups of shredded zucchini. And how many cups did the recipe call for? Yes, that's right - 1 and 1/2. And, tell me, when you convert the recipe to find the proper amount of all ingredients, how many eggs does that amount to?

15. It amounts to 15 eggs.

GAH.

After the actual zucchini process was over, the rest was pretty straightforward. 8 cups of flour, 4 cups of sugar, blah blah blah. I honestly felt like I was cooking for an army. Well, maybe not an army. A platoon, perhaps.

Ingredients and a spoon. And the largest bowl in the house.

Everything was fine, until Mum came home and checked the muffins/bread loaves in the oven. They'd only been baking about 15 minutes, but hoo boy! do they rise quickly in there!

So this is why you don't fill the cups up all the way...

The zucchinis decided to face death in the same manner they faced life - exploding out all over the place. Aaaand now I get to go scrape all the burned-on bits out of the oven.

But you know what? They turned out pretty darn good, even if they do look atrocious.

It's just one big, zucchini-laden blob.